An Ostensible Hope!!

Hope.. for a moment of comfort, for a memory of love, for the human existence to last forever. Hope is that aspect of living which is the most vital element that often goes unnoticed. When is the last time that things happened to you, instead of you waiting for long to see them turn into reality?

The struggle to win the battle of understanding our needs, our aspirations starts with gathering courage to understand and challenge the authority of hope in our life. It is then, only then if I may say, that we start to have a realistic picture of what is within our reach and what is beyond at present. The next stage involves in understanding the kinds of efforts which appear as demands from the nature to achieve the needs and aspirations we have set for ourselves. This again speaks of how 'hopeful' we are, and what aspirations (within our reach or beyond our reach at present) we are aiming at.

Realization of our aspirations again invites 'hope' to be a partner in our continuous struggle to work towards our goals. So all along, it is the hope that defines the vital link and pushes us to work to our or beyond our limits to achieve the desirable. What I gather from my own experience and the reason for me writing this post is, hope is the only element that lasts for ever...

Fleeting Realities

Let this wetness,
extend an invite to festoon one’s visage.
Seldom does the surface know,
the utility of moss through old age.

Let this darkness,
resolve the need for juxtaposition.
A dime still encourages men,
to seek beyond reason or position.

Let this coldness,
sweep the continent till the sunrise.
Only when one values the fall,
there is joy in the effort to rise.

Let this consciousness,
be my chief, helping in translation.
I walk alone to fathom,
this poem: my life with systems of scansion.

Universal Declaration of Human Rights: Child Labor

(This article is regarding one important sector of Human Rights: Children. This article is part of a series of articles written by me for TakingITGlobal.org with a focus on Child Labor)

It is estimated that 165 million children aged 5-14 are engaged in child labour worldwide. Millions of children are engaged in hazardous work environments like mines, working with petro-chemicals and pesticides. From Sub-Saharan Africa where around one in three children are engaged in child labour, representing 69 million children to South Asia, where 44 million are engaged in child labour because of poverty.

A study demonstrated the parallels between the historical pattern of the decline in child labor in the United States and situations today in developing countries. It is understood that the greater the extent of poverty in a country, the greater the amount of child labor, the relationship holding within a country over time as well as across countries at a given point in time. Though poverty may be a determinant of child labor, it cannot be examined in the absence of cultural and social factors, such as education, culture, and urbanization. Another Study points that child labor is deeply rooted in poverty and social customs. Thus, one reason for such high labor force participation is that working children are from impoverished families. There are several social and cultural explanations for widespread child labor in developing countries.

The effect of being sold into slave labor has the obvious physical scars from the constant beatings the children receive, their inhumane living conditions, and the practical starvation that the employers impose on them. However, the effects of slavery do not merely affect the physical well-being of the children. They also suffer from emotional scars. In addition to the risks that they face, there are also many negative side effects of exposing children to the excessive demands of adult labor. These side effects not only manifest themselves in the children’s health and growth, but also in their access to education. In fact, it is rare to find children who, over a prolonged period of time, manage to balance their studies with their daily chores. More than half of children laborers have never attended school, and those who have rarely finish the first cycle of elementary school. As researchers have noted, boycotting exports of goods produced by children may actually worsen the welfare and well-being of those children and their families, first by lowering their living standards and second by pushing children into dangerous work endeavors, such as begging and prostitution. This speaks of the need for a sustainable development plan to include the marginalized sections of the society to best tackle the growing numbers of child abuse.

If we can understand the dynamics of poverty, education, and child labor, we may be in a position to create more effective ways of eliminating child labor through education and economic development efforts. The problem of child labour, being inextricably linked with poverty and illiteracy, cannot be solved by legislation alone and a concerted effort to tackle this problem will bring in the desired sustainable growth.

My Assorted Musings

The constant struggle to simplify things is a well known and widely acknowledged practice. It becomes increasingly tough when we try to use the normal strategy in simplifying the reason(s) for our existence.

Like a rainbow which showcases a collection of colours (and the convulsions of long lost memories for those intellectuals in us), where the distinct line of seperation is lost (Does this speak of a phase of transition?), the reasons for our existence is also a closed knit fabric having lost their individuality ( and may I say, have subscribed to a dependent mode of existence) to create the soft continuity of the thread.

This post is a salutation for all the reasons, registered for their influence on my unbending self and their help to twine the threads into this rope...'My Life'

Moments of Fun...Moments of Grief

Statutory Warning : This post is an attempt to understand the various shades of our living. People who wish to stick to the view that emotions are simple can safely ignore it.

What we normally perceive as an understanding of a situation rarely is the only observation that can be made from it. It is increasingly important for us to acknowledge the complexity of the situation and simplicity of our understanding.

The transition from a moment of fun to a moment of grief is subtle and speaks of the art of the rhetoric using the language called life. There needs to be a constant attempt made by one self to seperate out the various threads that are interwoven to create the fabric of emotions.

The main objective of this post is to speak of existence of no moment whose texture speaks of fun or grief alone. Any moment is always a coalition effort with representation both from the fun and grief camps.

I wish to quote a writing on an epitaph.. and it reads "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal" . I wish to draw your attention to few points which might encourage the reader of this post to question the complexity involved in the above phrase rather than churning out a theory (no pun intended)

Few words which actually created significant interest in me (more so than the phrase itself which obviously did) are heartache and memory. These are moments which involve the faculties of heart and mind respectively. Death being an occurence attached with acknowledging the physical presence of a person, is more involved with the mind, while the love speaks of an emotion, connected with the heart more than anything else. It is interesting to understand the interdependence of these two emotions and the reactions they normally generate. The complex shade created by this dependence on each other is probably responsible in motivating a person to portray a different emotion.

Every emotion being related to our previous experiences or the interplay between any two emotions, it is easier to appreciate the complex shade of any moment with both the shades of fun and grief framing an integral ingredient of the composition.

What if...

What if...
A moment to be lived isn't easier?

What if...
A memory wraps around us more than the usual?

What if...
An atheist can fathom the reach of the God?

What if...
A minute seems longer than a hour?

What if...
A tide visits the shore never to return?

What if...
An 'if' never existed in the vocabulary of life?

Mere Yaadein...

Aawazon main aawaaz ban gayaa hun main
Kya chaha tha kya ho gaya hun main
Misaal dete , woh ishq tha
Kisi Gumnaam gazal ka sher ho gaya hun main

Kagaaz paar girtaa toh akshar banta
Daag kyu baan gaya hun main
Shayad koi tasveer hain jo adhuri hain
Usme katra baan gaya hun main

Tasveer banai toh chitera
Gazal likhi toh shayar ho gaya hun main
Khiladi, siyasi, mosiqi
Kitne naamon main baat gaya hun main

Kuch kho gaya sa
Kuch bach gaya hun main
Shahher ke purane khandar si
Ek yaad ho gaya hun main

(This is a 'Gazal' written by a friend of mine Mr. Shival Kathe. I love this work and connect with it personally)

Hasan...

I lived in a place…
Life changed hands as an old piece of bread,
and many waited for the next bead on the thread.

I lived in a place…
Happiness was measured by things we sought,
and many felt emotions can be bought.

I now live in a place…
Blessed with sovereignty of every emotion,
setting the blue sponges in motion.

I now live in a place…
Anointed by a stroke of his warmth and grace,
greeting everyone with a smiling face.

Complimentary Reflections

I remember our walk kissing the sky...
And the momentary halt
to moisten the dry throat.
Forever, I shall fall back on this,
to keep myself afloat.

I remember our walk stamping the earth...
And the momentary comfort
of allowing ourselves to rest.
Forever, I shall envy the time,
for its control and the test.

I remember our walk under the sun…
And the momentary anxiousness
due to drying up of this special stream.
Forever, I shall seek you,
in my dream.

I remember our walk by the sea…
And the momentary pleasure
of etching our names on the sand.
Forever, I shall hate the wind,
for its fatal hand.

I shall remember this walk…
And the momentary pain
to sit in my usual hole.
Forever, I shall wait for an other chance,
to play the same role.

Blessing: Power of Rumination

I always wondered why things happen? When we speak of our understanding of self, we normally don't acknowledge the influences from other entities... people, places we visit, memories we cherish...

I personally believe that memories we cherish define life...This 50th post on my blog is dedicated to my week long experience which gave me a bag full of memories...I had the opportunity not only to gain an insight about a different culture but also gave me an opportunity to learn more about my own country...People from a different sphere, with varied tastes and interests influenced me to understand my own existence...Amidst the clouds of warmth and friendship ...there exists a string that holds all of us together...the interest to communicate...I hope the string of communication sustains itself...

These days will remain the most cherished moments of my life for a long time to come. To all the people who made it possible, new friends who created a difference...

Thanks a lot! I lived my life...

Tears of my Soul

Be my squire...
When the colors of the rainbow are lost,
for I still enjoy the rain in the sky.

Be my squire...
When the charm of the music is lost,
for I am not tired of my steps.

Be my squire...
When the sweetness of being abandoned is lost,
for the night didn't lose its canvas fabric.

Be my squire...
When the light of thy candle is lost,
for I wish to be lost in the embrace of its smoke.

Never Quit

Don't give up, though the pace seems slow,
you may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of a cloud of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far.

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
its when things seem worst - you must not quit.

(This work is not mine but is close to my heart & that I relate to)

The Violet Shade

Heretofore I sought:

to paint every invigorated rose,
scent and feel reaching every nose.
But painted an orange sunset rotten,
only to be lost and forgotten.

Heretofore I sought:
to live under the inviolable sanctity of the sky,
reaching beyond the words, to the cry of joy.
But lived in the vacuum of the metal,
to watch the flower fare forth, petal by petal.

Henceforth I seek:
to paint beyond the sun behind the hills,
exceeding the potential of any known mills.
For life is filled with moments far too many,
only few of us truly living any.

Henceforth I seek:
agility of a freshet to grow
from being a colour amongst the plural,
to be the first that paints every mural.
I... the violet shade!

Paradigmatic-Syntagmatic Axes of Life

This is the prologue for the second chapter of my book (To be released) 'Tranquility: Focus'

This is an attempt to devise a plot to understand the growth of one's maturity levels as a person. To begin with, I wish to identify the paradigmatic and syntagmatic parameters (These terms are borrowed from the study of linguistics where the former speaks of a relationship 'across' a set of elements of the same type; while latter speaks of a relationship 'up' or 'down' a sequence. I shall take their help to prove the analogy between the plot under discussion and a perfect sentence) for the same and then proceed to understand the other influencing factors for the plot.

The basic blocks used to map the points on the plot being events or episodes in our life, it is easier for us to consider a single event and categorize the influencing factors for our action into ones with a paradigmatic existence or with a syntagmatic existence. There might be factors which might show traits of both, in which case we will plot their influence on both the axes while ones with absence of any such influence by either of them can be safely ignored.

For any action, it is necessary that we have the instigator, one who initiates the course of action and the sufferer, one who is influenced by the action. We will restrict our analysis to consider only the sufferer's point of view. Instigator can be regarded as a paradigmatic parameter from the sufferer's point of view since the action is important not the one who intiates it while it is the other way round from the instigator's point of view. The other important factor that influences and supports the action is the setting which is both a paradigmatic as well as a syntagmatic parameter since replacing the setting will influence the action and the impact of moving the setting during the action also influences the action.

There is a direct analogy between an action and a perfect sentence. A sentence can be framed using the subject and the predicate, here it is easy to understand that the sufferer of the action becomes the subject while the action becomes the predicate. A perfect sentence is furnished with sufficient detail to understand and appreciate the meaning of the action that it talks about, while a perfect action needs sufficient detail in regard to setting so that we fully appreciate the action from the sufferer's point of view.

Apart from the above mentioned three important factors, there are numerous factors which influence the action, degree of suffering and impact on the sufferer. In this chapter, these factors are debated and categorized into the two set of parameters that I talked about so that we can plot the level of understanding ( maturity). I hope you will enjoy it...

Pellucid Probity of Hers

Is it the zest of hers,

that dozes under a blanket of innocence;

to seek those pearls every night

or to cast a longer shadow of her light ?

Is it the esprit of hers,

that dwells like lava within a silent rock;

to seek only joy from the wind and the rain

or from the hurt and the pain?

Is it the bracing of hers,

that decks even the sand at the bottom of the sea;

to seek for presents and shout with glee

or for ways to flee?

Is it the affability of hers,

that digs for moments that lack the sun;

to seek for a game trail of the plane

or to simply recognize that you're sane?

Misery: Expectations Unlimited

Disclaimer: Through this post I wish to speak about the 'cause and the effect' scenario of expectations and might subscribe to few hardline views. For people who find it disgraceful, the emphasis is on conviviality, not controversy.

The trait of expecting or rather harboring expectations is the cause of all misery. I wish to begin by examining or rather try arriving at the root cause for most (if not all) problems in our life. Before I proceed, I need to stress that definition of problem is relative and the degree of concern that it invites is linked to our expectations i.e. expectations from ourselves, expectation from others etc. The factors which influence us to mark a situation as 'problem' are varied, most common being confusion which most of us rarely acknowledge. It is a general tendency to seek clear direction in any issue that we wish to handle, lack of it or possibility of improbability for the same creates the tag 'Mark it:Problem'. I wish to quote an example from the Buddhist Tales- Jataka Stories.

'...Lord Buddha along with his disciples was moving in the forest. Lord Buddha asked one of his disciples Anand to fetch some water as he was thirsty . Anand, who is one of the main disciples of Lord Buddha went to the nearby lake to fetch water. Having found that the water is murky and is not suited for drinking, he returns back to report it to Lord Buddha. Little Later, Lord Buddha sends him back to find out if there is any difference that arised. Anand returns back with the same answer. Lord Buddha asks Anand to repeat the exercise again little later. This time Anand finds that the sediments have settled down and clear water is available that can be picked up. Anand comes back with water and tells Lord Buddha about what he observed. Lord Buddha then points out that the motive of this exercise was not to get him to fetch water but to make him realise how our human mind is no different. Confusion or lack of clarity regarding what we need to do, a battery of issues being fired at us constantly places our mind in the same state as that pond with murky water. What we need to do is to allow ourselves some time so that the sediments of doubt, misunderstanding settle down and get clarity in our thoughts. This helps us make more effective choices...'

The necessity for quoting the above excerpt, is to throw light on how we are not able to understand the root cause of most of the problems we face in life. Allowing ourselves some time to think regarding the same makes us realise that the degree of expectation attached with various resources and relationships is the major root cause.Why do we expect? This is a tough question to answer but let us examine the scenario of how it will reflect our attitude if we moderate our expectation levels. I wish to speak of an observation from nature which is analogous to understanding this scenario.

Consider the types of bonding between elements (I assure you that this example only demands a basic understanding of chemistry and is devoid of any complexity but endowed with rich experiences of nature). There are two kinds of bonding i.e. ionic bond and covalent bond where the former speaks of a bond where only one element donates electrons for the bonding while the latter speaks of a bond where both the elements involved donate electron for the bonding. The strength of an ionic bond is much stronger than the covalent bond.

Similarly, even in our lives, when we wish to invest our time and resources in issues and relationships, we tend to expect a return from our investment as in a covalent bond where both the parties involved have an expectation from one another. I wish to argue that we need to atleast try once to invest with no expectations of return like the ionic bond. The feeling of satisfaction for having given with no expectation for a return of favor is quite immense. One need to notice that in an ionic bond, the donor donates becauses it seeks a better configured existence. Likewise, when we wish to seek a better state of existence for our own self, we need to understand the art of having no expectations.

Nature is full of examples which might help one understand the need and happiness this practice might fetch. This post is an attempt to remind you, me and everyone the joy of giving. I am sure it is atleast worth a try. Comments and your observations are most welcome!

Avowal Series : Prologue

Dear Dad,

Moments...Every single one of them I spent with you remain the true inspiration for my existence. There were times when I wanted you by my side, moments when I wanted to reach out for you to understand and seek the reason for this existence of mine. Life brought me many presents in return for this sacrifice of mine, but no wonder the quest to be with you still lives on...We remain like the river and the bank, so near yet so far to seek each other.

Today I wish to thank all the tunes that fill my song. This song of my life will eternally stand as a tribute to that touch of yours when I was born...

This Series is a dedication to you Dad!


I can never let you go...
Abhijith

Is it a Man's World or a Woman's World?

Before I proceed, I wish to state few points which might help my cause. Firstly, kindly don't brush this post aside thinking that this is a writing of a disturbed soul. Secondly, don't get judgmental about me rather I shall appreciate it if you think over the issue. Thirdly, this post doesn't mean I hate women or have a negative view regarding them but it is only an attempt to see reason and understand that everyone is equal and is equally worth. Lastly, this post will probably have scores of examples from India, so any non-Indian reader can appreciate it with some additional reading about the scenario of reservations, the social divide in an Indian society. I also wish to stress on the point that I have done considerable reading myself before writing this post.

India is a diversified country with few interesting yet baffling practices in place. I don't wish to get into the need for reservations on a ' you belong to which community' basis for that would invite a debate which I guess can never really materialize into an action plan with a strict cap on the duration ( for the uninitiated : Dr. Ambedkar 's recommendations for reservations for the backward classes were initially planned for a limited duration while the politicians had other plans.) What I wish to discuss in this post is one of most evident practice that happens across the globe : Atrocities Against Men which are rarely acknowledged. There’s some small comfort to be drawn from the fact that the number of serious cases under this umbrella being small. Most of them go unnoticed or are not reported.

Media, which nowadays is all over the place reporting about the loss of a hairpin of some woman, is not sensitive to few common observations in our daily life which I trust are a violation of human rights. One simple example would be the frisking that every passenger needs to go through at an airport : Women have the privilege of using a closure while men are frisked, out in the open. It simply exemplifies incidentalization and displacement which, together with exclusion are few of the strategies used in the media to marginalize and conceal the gender-selective victimization of men.

Feminists make the opposite complaint. According to them it’s violence against women, which is marginalized and concealed in the Media. One of the major points which this post of mine wish to talk about is that marginalization is a relative term which needs to understood and addressed with great care for few steps which are meant to address the greviances of the marginalized would actually pull the other group into the marginalized category.

Let's think of a scenario: There is a never ending debate that surfaces when we consider the admissions through JEE into IITs (I wish to speak of this for I am personally well equipped with the facts needed for the same) of gender based reservations . Why girls don't find themselves on the other side of the line ? "Give Us Reservations " is the immediate cry. This points to many facts in the Indian Social Fabric i.e. how the entire trend of being identified as a marginalized group was seen as a taboo earlier, while now groups ( Sometimes groups which aren't marginalized or are well equipped with) wish to seek the favor ( Gujar Vs Meena Fight) and call themselves marginalized. Added to this agony is the " Lets make something out of this" strategy of the politicians. Going into that debate would sideline the issue which I wish this post should throw light on , I wish to save that for some other day.

Men are equal players in the society ( Feminists wish to put it as greater players while I stick to what I just said) and are entitled for equal dignity. Minorities or the marginalized communities always wish to seek support from the authorities while this sometimes leads to playing the wrong card for the others. Similar to the observation of the creamy layers using the community based reservations for their advantage while the real needy for the same are not even aware of it, there is a growing trend of the advantage which is offered for girls for being " people who need help" category is used up by the "urban bred-not worth to seek the help" girls while the girls who really need them are not addressed. Now, understand the entire effect of such a trend: "Urban Bred- Cant seek help for we are boys" Boys are to suffer . The entire Rural-Urban segmentation needs to be well addressed in terms of extending help for any group. When there is a growing presence of Women Rights Commission in every aspect of our living, it becomes equally important for the Men to have one if we are speaking of equal opportunity. This is a misconception that only marginalized need voice. There is a need for Men Rights Commission to support the cause of men in case of false alarms. Using the law for our own good is not a relatively new phenomenon , which speaks of the growing need to understand the rising number of false alarms on rape charges ( when the boss is not supportive) , dowry charges (when marriage is on the rocks with no fault of the husband, or you simply wish to seek a change of your husband) . When I am pointing out these cases, I am not denying the fact that there would be genuine cases and those need to be addressed in the most severe terms possible, but what I wish to say is that when there is a case both the parties should be given equal chance to put forth their view . Indian Law presently speaks of no " Lets hear them first and then decide" policy but it only advocates " put him on suspension or arrest him and then lets hear what he has to say" policy. When we speak of not punishing even a single innocent person, is this development an apt one for the social framework? There has been scores of writings on the need for all these policies and protection for rural women but why don't the authorities understand the need of the urban male population ? 70% of India resides in villages , then the remaining 30% reside in the urban areas. We are the marginalized segment in terms of understanding the negative effects of it. while the urban "We need help because we are girls" segment enjoys the privilege which is not needed, the boys are to suffer.

There is a social trend that men should not complain and need to take everything that comes their way into their stride. For example, the number of girls who get admitted into medical colleges are greater than men, why isnt reservation considered for men in medical colleges? This conflict between the ego and performance based benefits will result in a greater number of men who are stressed and dont get the apt platform to start with or voice their opinion. This might even lead to marking of one another because of the advantage/ disadvantage one enjoys which might break the entire social setup. There is always a limit for the amount of help one needs to enjoy or one needs to offer because there are many groups involved and it might create a greater difference in the longer run. I request each and everyone who reads this to understand the need for a equal status of beings. Comments are highly solicited and it would be a great idea if you can push the link of this post to your friends through emails, I am sure this post is worth a forward over the normal " I was sick so I created this crap" forwards that fill your inbox just to see itself moved to trash or bin folder. I expect alteast few might be able to see some reason for what I wrote about or atleast it would be worth a laugh, both being equally worth for me writing this post.

The Wait...

Is it the wait,
for the unexpected joy,
to end the song of the solitary walk?

Is it the wait,
for the words of silence,
to fill the holes on the edge of the abyss?

Is it the wait,
for the dagger of emotions,
to push itself out from the scabbard of fears?

Or is it simply the wait,
to live the feeling,
of these thoughts?

A Walk I Remember

You walk...

Gait of which is never understood,
to seek beyond the black stalactites the sky offers.

You walk...
Tranquil soul and recycled dignity,
to surmise a meaning even for the spit on the sidewalk.

I walk...
Many a time with a frustrated desire,
that fails to open, for it lacks the Sun.

I walk...
Support the fingers: Enamel coated,
to alleviate the lotus and shake its waters.

We walk...
With a recondite purpose,
fragrance of which is the only memory I keep.

We walk...
Moments of no banal existence,
to experience 'A walk I shall remember...'

The Monday Mornings...

Burned leaves,

of the week's tale.

Closed account,
of the week's sale.

These gray mornings,
turn me so pale!

Comfort of Zephyr

Tonight I seek:
For those pearls of dew,
on the oaks to hew.

Tonight I seek:
For those wings of flight,
to give my cherished dreams a fight.

Tonight I seek:
For the depth of seas,
to gain strength to break the geas.

Tonight I seek:
You...Oh! Zephyr:The company of thee,
gives me reasons to flee.

When Things go Green!

This post is related to one of my personal experiments. This is an attempt to " Go Green". It has nothing to do with the trend in recent years of "green consumerism", the fast growing market for more environmentally friendly products. Neither is it an attempt towards convincing others to protect the environment! It probably is only an innocent tryst with artificiality - an attempt to see greenery around even when nothing exists, send across a positive vibe and seek credit for my actions to "go green". What do you think?

Abandoned...

You abandoned me...
Inside the vacuum of another night,
with sweat and muscles so tight.

You abandoned me...
In this world: colorless and fake,
with no flowers by the lake.

You abandoned me...
In search of my soul,
it takes more than just to say so.

You abandoned me...
For I didn't learn to look,
beyond the thin wall of the heart.

You abandoned me...
To drown where the water parted the land,
I only sought a helping hand.

You abandoned me...
To listen to the sirens sing behind the moon,
can't I seek an other boon?

You abandoned me...
For all I asked for,
is to be abandoned in your arms.

Comments are not invited for this poem for personal reasons.

Move On...

Listen beyond the voice,
of these memories.
What exists now shall never again repeat.

Seek beneath the layers,
of fallen leaves.
New ones are bound to grow after the fall.

Look through the spread,
of our fingers.
Its only the memories that we keep.

Wait for an other season,
till these emotions die.
Then I shall be reduced to just tears on your cheeks.

Silence of the Night

As in an old glass chipped,
memories advancing from the bottom of my Heart.

Perennial leaves that fall to the ground,
throwing in the light for a final time.

I shall fall like a shooting star,
into your arms oh! silence of the night.

Oh! Coy Maiden

I,
wear a hot torture on my mind,
and turned cold as dry ice.
Am I worth the tears when you sleep
and a place in the illusions you keep?
Strength is what I seek with hope.
Oh God! give us the reason to cope,
These moments put me on a tight rope.

You,
with those thousand kisses bright,
wish to be my soul.
Am I worth this noble mien?
As the warmth in the summer,
is the breath between your lips.
As the Rose in May heat,
can I provide the shade you seek?

We,
Oh! Coy Maiden,
is it a perception or a torn heart?
Or a reflection of our nostalgia?
I wish not to annihilate my soul,
And I mean no harm to thee.
As a bramble steel,
understand: Never we can set ourselves free.

Comments are not invited for this poem for personal reasons.

Gemini/Cancer Cusp

After repeated attacks on my own self to understand the seditious yet calm traits of mine, I wanted to experiment in understanding what the Zodiac speaks of my peers from the same cusp. After a series of refractory arguments about Gemini/Cancer Cusp, I came across an interpretation of the Zodiacs which reads as follows:

"Individuals born on the cusp of Gemini (the third Sign of the Zodiac) and Cancer (the fourth Sign of the Zodiac) are ruled by both Mercury and the Moon. These cuspians possess a large degree of brilliance and influence, and tend to control those around them. They dislike work which is perceived to be laborious and the inherent shrewdness here often enables Gemini/Cancer natives to attain the "world's goods" without a great deal of physical or mental effort on their part. Anxious to gain public favor, these cuspians generally succeed by virtue of their great tact and versatility. Interested in heredity and ancestors, this is often reflected in a desire to care for relatives and propagate the family line.

The Gemini/Cancer cusp combination, also known as the Cusp of Magic, correspondences symbolically to the period of human life at around the age of twenty-one. Romantic and inspirational, these natives often employ their talents and energies in the service of a higher purpose like family, religion, philosophy, arts and political or social causes, for example. These are individuals who can wholeheartedly throw themselves into devotional activities and often appear to be mild, even self-effacing characters. Many Gemini/Cancer subjects prefer anonymity in their careers, although there can also be more aggressive natives of this cusp who become assertive as they mature and have no problem in letting the world know who they are. Easily seduced, most of these cuspians have the ability to enchant those around them, both consciously and unconsciously. Such individuals do possess a rather sweetly innocent charm and need to be wary of being imposed upon. However, by virtue of the inherent defensive instinct associated with this cusp combination, even the most mild of these natives will be inclined to gently lay down emotional guidelines that should not be overstepped. The more aggressive of these cuspians are frequently well aware of their powers of persuasion and may employ such power without any qualms whatsoever in order to get their own way, even though others might be hurt in the process.

Blessed with charm and magnetism, Gemini/Cancer subjects can be remarkably cool characters possessed with a useful objectivity, and their reasoning abilities may well prove to be an effective foil to deep emotions. Falling within the influence of both Gemini and Cancer, these cuspians are, in fact, a rather interesting blend of logic and feeling. Thus, when an appeal is made to the emotions of others, it is done in a detached and thoughtful manner. Not ones to be easily upset, Gemini/Cancer natives inspire confidence by way of sympathy, concern and a willingness to help. They possess the knack of entering the hearts of those they love and a reluctance to relinquish that position, even when separations are necessary. These cuspians tend to be rather private people who are far from eager to grant others access to their inner world. They often fare best when they are able to work from home and will frequently set up such a home as a type of retreat or sanctuary. If the Gemini/Cancer native does allow another to share his or her living space, then such implies immense trust and a great deal of respect for the other person. An invitation to visit this highly personal world is more often the giving of a true gift or the reflection of a desire to share, rather than a sign of ostentation or need for sociability. Indeed, there is a danger here for these cuspians to isolate themselves from the society around them and retreat into an unproductive dreamworld. Such detachment will stunt the personal and spiritual development of these natives which could, later in life, be perceived by them as a sign of failure. Thus, remaining in touch with reality is important for Gemini/Cancer subjects and they need to find friends and partners who are more extroverted by nature in order to provide an essential link to the world. There is also a tendency for these cuspians to be passively selfish and others may view this as a demand for constant attention...a belief that the Gemini/Cancer cuspian thinks the world revolves around him or her. In short, the special needs and wants of these natives can impose heavy demands upon friends and intimates who may, at the same time, find themselves denying their own emotional and physical requirements particularly if they are sensitive souls.

From an early age, these subjects are inclined to be reckless and wayward, prone to neglect all other matters in favor of amusement and pleasure. Thus, it is important that the children of this cusp combination be guided by a vigilant eye and a firm but loving hand. The inherent persuasive power of Gemini/Cancer natives becomes particularly evident in matters involving money. The males of this cusp have no difficulty in obtaining control over the purse strings of their women friends, while the females of this cusp, with their ingratiating manners and wheedling tones, find it all too easy to secure liberal "loans" without having to provide any form of security. Losses or gains are of little importance to these cuspians. If temporary failure is encountered in one direction, it appears to be regarded as nothing more than a "stepping stone" which will help these subjects to regain their feet and there always seems to be an endless supply of backers waiting to provide aid. There will always be close family ties with siblings here and these natives often remain quite youthful and light-hearted throughout their entire life. This cusp combination is also likely to produce more ambidextrous people than any other in the Zodiac.

Due to the influence of Mercury (Gemini's planetary ruler), there is a strong desire in this cusp combination to take up new projects and switch occupations. This aspect greatly influences the inherently restless nature of Cancer, which has its own personal conflicts and contrasts. With the Moon in the ascendant, these natives need stability which, in an odd fashion, is provided by the "flashback" to Gemini. Those born on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer become extremely active during the daytime and all other customary working hours. Thus, such individuals are able to overcome the traditional nightly restlessness customarily associated with Cancer natives. This cusp combination has a strong sense of conservatism which restrains those it governs from adopting an unwise or questionable enterprise...a typical fault attributed to the influence of Mercury. Gemini/Cancer cuspians simply refuse to take a gamble or engage in undue risks beyond a well-defined point. Thus, these subjects tend to create their own brand of traditions conforming to an innate love of the old while accepting and enjoying the new. Basically, this is a very intuitive cusp combination accompanied by a broad-minded outlook and capacity for abstract reasoning. Emotion plays a key part in the lives of Gemini/Cancer cuspians, but it is checked and balanced with logic. The awareness and intellectual approach to life displayed by such individuals is often refreshing and the emotional honesty can be quite admirable. Gemini/Cancer subjects are suited to any of the occupations traditionally associated with the Sign of Cancer (often with a greater chance of success), as well as many other occupations courtesy of the high activity provided by the Gemini background. These are quick-witted individuals who are extremely intrigued with things around them and discover so much happiness in their own activities that they are able to shake off the retrospective moods which are such a handicap to the true Cancer subject. Once these cuspians have attained an aim, they move on to something else feeling that the more they do in the future, the more satisfied they will be when it becomes the past.

With regard to relationships, Gemini/Cancer cuspians can make for caring, flirtatious and playful individuals with the ability to understand the difficulties any loved one will need to work through. Nevertheless, the females of this cusp combination are extremely attached to their offspring and, in the event of a divorce, will abandon all else and make any sacrifice necessary to enable them to retain custody of their children. With an immense fondness for conversation and food, Gemini/Cancer cuspians find dinner dates with friends to be highly enjoyable. These natives are inherently inquisitive and literary-oriented, which means they embrace mental challenges with equal enthusiasm as they do physical ones. By virtue of a willingness to constantly try something new, they often make for excellent cooks. Their many interests result in an entertaining and stimulating conversationalist who truly loves people. They often enjoy team sports because of the family feeling a team frequently provides. Physical exercise and artistic endeavors either written or on canvas will allow Gemini/Cancer subjects to channel their swirling emotions into productive output.

Perhaps the greatest strength of the Gemini/Cancer cuspian is the blending of intellectual and conversational skills. In addition, with an inherently affectionate nature, this cusp is counted among the most caring characters of the Zodiac.

The most important lesson to be learned by Gemini/Cancer natives is that they need to curb any tendency toward excitability and overindulgence in diversions particularly during those times when the Moon is on the wane. It is also necessary for them to constantly keep an eye on the desired goal and resist the urge to drift. The inherent tendency to repress feelings should also be avoided. As with all cusp individuals, these cuspians tend to be attracted to others born on the cusp particularly those who fall within the Aquarius/Pisces and Scorpio/Sagittarius combinations. "

This post is only an attempt to understand my own self better. The moral of the story, it is better to leave well enough alone. Any happening is only transient; and if it was worth, memories of it will endure long after the feeling is forgotten. The Caravan must move on...

Turbulence of Silence

This January was a turbulent month, not that I strongly believe in Dr. Bejan Daruwalla but most of what he has predicted or rather anticipated would happen, did come true. As always ( I don't know why I explain what I expect of any post), I am pretty sure that this post may have nothing which you can connect with, but I am sure you might at least spend some time pondering and that may be all that this reading might offer, but it is no modest aspiration to say so..

This month was a ride through the lanes and streets of the weird city of silence. Silence in abundance is tranquility. Tranquility helps us reach to that point within ourselves that we tend to connect with the free energy of the universe. Penance is probably one of the spin-offs of this ride. Critically, if I need to analyze how this ride brought with it an enriching experience then I need to put it as how it acts as an emotional drain. It fixes the fountain and then it drains us off the emotional slack helping us reinvent ourselves. So, this post is dedicated to my experiences with silence .. Thank you !

Moments...

Ignorance is not a fault. But the only problem is when people read it as arrogance. Elements of stupidity exist in everyone of us. But you never know when they attain the stature of main stream behavior. Life and human emotions, I guess one can never get enough of, we set out thinking to dictate terms to life but end up following rules set by it!

"Are you actually buying into this harebrained idea? If so, let saner minds prevail yours. Step back from the situation and listen to your instinct. Is this really a good idea? Your intellect will tell you otherwise. Heed the warning.."

Thinking beyond reason is also an issue which i was confronted with. Words.. simple words have deep impact, taking you beyond the boundary of reason and logical chronology of events. Every value, moral definitions are relative and you tend to understand the subtle difference only when you face situations which I guess are beyond any description and human comprehension.

I am not speaking of a challenge but a struggle of Self Vs Self which I am sure most of us have had experience of, albeit without comparison or similarities. It needs a different mood to understand that you are loser and you yourself are the winner too. Personality is probably a rainbow of shades and you never know what shade your personality is projecting today.

To sum it up, I guess this post has no relative significance (not that most of the others had any profound influence on the readers except for few) to anyone except me and it stands a testimonial for yet another night which I cant forget...
P.S: I dont know why that paragraph alone is marked in violet..

Prologue: Six Triangles of Human Existence

This post and the subsequent posts under this theme are only meant for people who wish to understand philosophy from an individual's point of view rather than the accepted notions of religion. I need not stress on the point that subscribing to a religious belief or rather an ideology doesn't meant that one is totally supportive of the entire religious doctrine. A point(s) of difference exists and I say , is the reason for our existence. Differences in thought, in action sustains the juice for everyone of us to appreciate. Similarities cant generate interest, all of us seek that difference between the two individuals, difference between our aura and the aura of the supreme soul. What I wish to talk about under this theme is that I wish to present my view or my understanding of scheme of things. Individuals , their actions, moral values. decisions etc. are all a part of the bigger picture of understanding their philosophy. This is an attempt to put my thoughts in words so that, people (which includes me) will be able to appreciate the emotions behind my words.

Soul Connection is one of the post which was an attempt to understand and view people with respect to how the entire equation is controlled by a supreme soul and we are all a part of it trying to align ourselves towards to attain salvation. Few considered it an amateur effort to fill the void within me, with a sense of understanding self rather than facing the reality.

Critics and their analysis is always a help, for the amount of emails I received regarding the soul connection drove me to explain my primary belief to see the bigger picture rather than keep ourselves to the small bits of it. This attitude to live life as a collection of moments rather than the moments alone was the major point which was debated in my post Are you in next?

I wish to take this opportunity to thank all the readers and the curious of you who mailed me to understand what I meant through that post. The reason I wish to speak of it now, many days after it has been posted is I still receive emails asking me to explain that post in a more simple way. This post is only an acknowledgment of the fact that I am grateful to those who instigated me to explore that thought once again and present my perception.

Analysis is possible only when things stay the same, which is not the case. Learning is a continuous process and we evolve into a better being every single day thinking about how the difference that exists can be understood better. This Series is an attempt to look at my thought expressed in Are you in next? from proximal quarters . Though this frames my or an individual's perspective on happenings around us, it definitely would stand as a better projection of the idea listed in Are you in next? . I hope the readers would enjoy it.

Before I close I wish to convey my sincere feelings of gratitude to Ms. Anania from Greece who convinced me to pursue this idea of expressing that thought (lost in the annals of time) elaborately through this series. I encourage everyone to comment for it would help to know you as well as myself better !

Stranger Vs Self

This post happens to be the result of my another tryst with Silence. Firstly I understood that silence can come visiting not only between two phases of a conversation but also when moments of the past seem to weigh heavily on you.

I came across the line 'To know where you stand in life measure how lonely you sleep in the night, not the crowd that surrounds you in the day' when I was talking to a friend of mine. Memory did the rest to bring forth memories of the past, moments which were long forgotten. This was an enough invitation for the consent of silence to come visit me. This meeting was rather pleasant one, if i describe it that way. It made me understand how life defined as collection of memories seems to enjoy a lonely existence.

Are dreams only a experiment of our imaginative creativities or the delicate realities of our thoughts. How I had to grow over looking from within my self to look from beyond self. To visit ourselves as a stranger needn't always be a pleasant experience. Moments arise and pass , days move out , nights move in creating that rift between the two beings within you. Its tough to understand that we need to rise above the conflict between the two and pull ourselves to be a stranger, to our own self to see the larger difference beyond the differences between the two beings within us.

Its tough to know whether we have the dare to seek the company of that stranger .. the only thing i can say is "Its definitely worth it".

Let Silence be Heard!

Silence is perhaps the most interesting phase of a conversation. Seldom do we realize that conversation frames an attempt to acknowledge the sense and ignore our emotions. Its only during the interregnum between two phases of a conversation that silence steps in. Rarely do we understand the power of silence and the difference it creates during that moment. It can bind people together with a bond of imagination that can never be broken. For in times of confusion, it is your trusted companion. In times of sadness, it has the power to console you. In times of anger, it will give a reason to think. Fragility of our thought added with Dignity of the Soul seek silence and surrender before it.

Apt is the line "Ubi Maior, minor Cessat!" People surrender before silence which has a different set of rules. It advocates divinity of thought and cruelty of the soul, for it minces your thought to reach to the level of self-realization , it churns your soul to raise its immunity to face cruelty. Silence never really gives birth to profound thought. It only plays the priest at your apotheosis to the level of a divus, when confusion about your actions ceases to exist. It places a quilt of tranquility over the logic and allows your emotions to reason it out. And this happens to be the reason behind many profound thoughts, for it fills ours space with a different paradigm of existence.

So do realizations happen when you listen to your heart or simply Let Silence be heard ?

Conflict : Mind Vs Soul

Life goes a complete circle making us fathom the power of emotions. Indeed, it is tough to acknowledge that realisation visits us after the action is already out there.

No wonder ' When Harry met Sally ' was great hit. It speaks of how experiences are beyond imagination ( read Human Comprehension) and archiving of memories and experiences doesnt help In that story Sally and Harry share a plane flight. Sally is in a relationship with Joe , while Harry is about to get married to Helen .Harry explains why men and women can't be friends, even if they're in a relationship with other people. They part ways again once the flight is over.

Is it the convention that Soul and Mind play opponents so that things happen in life , or is it simple coincidence. Pleasant are memories which never existed or rather they never are owned by one being. Is it a trade-off between the memories and happiness that bothers the human heart?

Love, Hatred, Friendship, Enemity, Strangers ... Everyone seems to be related and we indeed exist in a small world both physically and metaphorically. Living is a constant struggle to arrive at a compromise between the desires of the mind and values of the soul. In the triangle of Mind-Heart-Soul, this compromise plays on the heart and so on emotions.

Isnt there a way to win over yourself? People misinterpret that satisfaction is winning over one's heart but seldom do they know that it is about a successful compromise that defines satisfaction than understanding of the heart.

Fate, Destiny .. we can name a battery of words which are supernatural and are not within our reach of understanding. As Paulo Coelho puts it,"Fate is only the wind that drives your ship, it is you, who sets the sails of the ships and steer it along." . I trust it is our actions to arrive at the compromise that defines the direction of the sails and fate only fuels it.

I guess corrections, excuses are only a part of this drill to notice the right direction. Seldom do we find a pure existence and no one is any different. Varied Sizes of the fingers serve a purpose, so do these inflictions on the soul... Sorry I feel is not only a convention to speak of ending with a full stop, but also to look beyond to understand and channelise the sails of our ship!

No wonder, knowledge of the destination makes the ride boring and every experience forms a part of the adventure called life. Its about adjusting the weights for your mind and soul rather than changing the parameters in the compromise.

Excuse us all God!

Words...

Smile
An everlasting smile
A smile can bring you near to me
Don't ever let me find you wrong
Cause that would bring a tear to me
This world has lost it's glory
Lets start a brand new story
Now my love

You think that I don't even mean
A single word I say

It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away

Talk
In everlasting words
And dedicate them all, to me
And I will give you all my life
I'm here if you should call to me

You think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away

It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away


This world has lost it's glory
Let's start a brand new story
Now, my love

You think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away

It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away

It's only words
And words are all I have
To take your heart away

(Words by Boyzone...The reason the lyrics of this song frame a post on my blog is because I finally understood the power and meaning of words and the strength they can give...and why I wish to put this in pink.. even I dont know)

Heresies of My Existence

There existed…
A Second to look beyond days and nights,
two of its kind saw years keeping them apart.
Puritanical until the very moment, wasn’t it? 

There existed…
Times when kids played with one another,
no one let them have a second chance.
Everyone is bound to grow, Weren’t they?



There exists…
Wetness beneath the slab all day,
seldom does the icing know about the cake that’s set.
Life doesn’t allow a middle drop, does it?



There exists…
“A Set line that’s shown”, told the paper,
better look beyond the line atleast once.
There is always a reason to smile, isn’t it?



There shall exist…
Places and memories: vastly different,
change this self and allow the little sea through.
Whilst Pound remains a set of pints, will you?



There shall exist…
Reasons when men shall shout “Place back that moment”,
the change won’t be large even when one moves miles apart.
Life will remain a collection of memories, Will it not?

She...

She may be the face I cant forget,
the trace of pleasure or regret.
May be my treasure
or the price I have to pay.

She may be the song that Summer sings,
may be the chill the autumn brings.
May be a hundred different things
within the measure of a day.

She may be the beauty or the beast,
may be the famine or the feast.
May turn each day
into a heaven or a hell.

She may be the mirror of my dream,
the smile reflected in a stream.
She may not be
what she may seem.

She who always so happy in a crowd,
whose eyes can be so private and so proud.
No one's allowed to see them
when they cry.

She may be the love that cannot hope to last,
may come to me from the shadows of the past.
That i remember
till the day I die.

She may be the reason I survive,
the Why and wherefore I'm alive.
The one I'll care for through the rough
and ready years.

Me I'll take her laughter and her tears,
and make them all my souvenirs.
For where she goes I've got to be
the meaning of my life is She.

(This work is not mine but is close to my heart & that I relate to)

Ingenuine Clarities

Standing against the wet wall of loneliness,
While time became a silk knot pressing your breath.
Why dip your pen into invisible ink,
To mince your heart?

Instead of a miserably hybrid grub,
Or the curved, wrinkled arms of destiny.
Think of the rain dribbling on the ivy leaves,
Or the euphonious breeze of wind etching life.

Oh! My consanguineous Cousin,
Claim your happiness for you’re worth it!
And my obeisance,
For your support is sui generis.

A Defty Damsel

Realized did I?
regarding what you hide
in those pearls pitch dark,
that captivate my senses and does not speak to me?

Initiated am I?
to appreciate the beauty of a cotton flower
that wraps us with a ribbon of simple percipience,
and yet we are free to turn with our senses.

Thinking am I?
About the scent of the simple flower petals, and cry of the cats,
I understand now that important emotions,
Lie in silly details.

Understanding You?
Complex yet so simple!
would I be justified to call myself
A Swain of your subtleness

Ayu Bowan Lanka!

Things simply dont change even when you switch shores, atleast that is the case in Asia. Sri Lanka, an island of paradise is the image that is sustained. An island which has disparity between Capital city of Colombo and the rest of the country. Sometimes, the concept of Karl Marx that leader should represent the group seems to be lost in an effort to stick to improve the indices of progress.

Not that I wish to push the Marxist idealogy but just that progress without equitable distribution will seek an urge within the population for a concentration of interests which might lead to a civil war. I am not being pessimistic , but it is obviously better to be realistic.

Be it China or Sri Lanka which are spoken of in regard to non-equitable distribution of wealth amongst its people , urban and rural development should go hand in hand to understand and truly represent progress. With country lacking basic infrastructure in rural sectors and concentration of efforts to improve and furnish Cities like Colombo alone with infrastructure speaks of vulnerability in case of a conflict . Becoming a soft target speaks of how country might plunge into poverty, for a country which is already subscribing to a string of issues , such a disparity is not called for.

This is a plea to the policy makers ( One point which impressed me about Sri Lanka over India is encouragement of youth to participate atleast in discussion in regard to policy making if not having a substantial say , which doesnt seem to exist in India even when Youth frame 54% of Population) to understand and focus on spreading developmental activities to various points on the island so that everyone gets a share of the pie!


Ayu Bowan Lanka!