Wednesday, February 15, 2012


fáilte grá!

They say love is an ugly business  - one is never happy, yet one never gets tired of it. It has come to be a routine exercise for everyone of us following the “living in the moment” method.  This speaks of a trait, to be fully present and aware of oneself and one’s needs / desires and be selfish about it – definition of present day love. It speaks of a state which seeks no observation beyond necessary, unwarranted appreciation, patience, quiet, ability to turn off the clock and put away the calendar and never expect anything in return for any love showered.

While most of us might be of the view, that we do not live in such times –  and that we truly love people in our lives. In theory, being in a relation involves learning how to pay attention, and the process of getting there is far easier than one might think. There are a few simple things one needs to do right to stay in the present and pay attention to your partner, and be of the opinion that you are in love and really care for him/her.  

If you wish to see if what you perceive as love is love indeed – there is a simple method. Close your eyes and let the sounds around you filter through you and notice the underlying noises that you may have been tuning out. Next, open your eyes and notice the colors and sights around you in this same subtle, attentive way. You may be surprised at how much you actually notice about your internal and external presence. If you try this, you will probably find that “paying attention” will take on a whole new meaning, and it will be a very nice one at that. If being in a relation puts you through a similar experience – emotionally or physically, then it is not love but just an emotional arrangement you are clinging onto. 

I hope that you can take some time this week to understand love – and not exist in relation thinking it is love. I feel sure that it will change your experience in “now” time and that's not a bad goal for starters.


-         -  Abhijith Jayanthi
  Dublin, 2007