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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Saga of Life


It was that day in my life ,
I understood what life is all about ,
Life is a meandering wave with
something to lose and something to gain.

A mere balance of credentials and liabilities,
with a piece for all...

Sometimes I seem to think everything is nothing
But then I realize there is a thing in nothing too
I tend to believe that what we seem to
believe is what belief is all about.

At the end of the day ,
I see nothing that interests me but to live
but then this life has made me think...

what is life all about except for knowing self
now I understand life is nothing
except understanding the person within you,
and nothing else!

Human Integrity Vs Thinking

Ever wondered what did you get out of your life? What this life is all about? Did you ever wonder why everything is happening only to you rather than how to tackle them? Well I did and I would like to put my experiences before you so that you can appreciate these thoughts.

When I was a small kid I had this weird doubt of how we feel, how we reciprocate and communicate using emotions, is there something within us which makes us feel the way we do? I use to wonder whatever had happened had any bearing on what is happening and what will be happening in the days to come? I felt there is a person within every one of us who is trying to reach out. I felt there is something which makes everyone responds to the basic feelings of living beings.

Initially I didn’t respect the value attached with such ideas, but slowly as I started investigating my own self, I happen to meet a person within my own self who had a different perspective on every issue that bothered me. This made me think about others, are they facing the same situation, I wanted to enquire but then I was small so no one seemed to be interested in what I said.

But then I always wanted to know how this thinking helps in human integrity? Perhaps you might be wondering what I mean by integrity? Well I would appreciate such a thought because I feel it is the starting of this new dimension where you get to meet the unknown in a known frame. Human integrity is something which makes us different from one another. The ability to communicate what you think, ability to converse, and ability to be part of various activities is not integrity, integrity is something which is associated with the feeling 'How well do I know myself?' Did you ever ask yourself that question? If no, ask it now and if yes what was the reply that you have got?

From what I have gathered, I would like to admit I have seen many people having conflict with their own self, they seem to be different, behave differently than what they actually like to be. Emotions have an intricate role to play to bring out the person within us. Ever tried to interpret human emotions?

The conflict between what you think, what you feel seems to grow day by day. Our moves are instrumental in molding our thoughts but are we doing the right thing? Perhaps you might brush this aside saying that they are nature's rhapsodies but then why don’t we make a sincere effort in understanding what we really are? Instead of being confused about things what can’t we be certain about what we do, what we think, why can’t we understand the person within our own self. Everything seems to be within us, even then we are unable to find answers for many questions we have.

Life is something which I seem one can never understand, we set out thinking about dictating terms to life but end up following rules set by it, why don’t we put an effort to understand ourselves instead of giving life a try?

Dream - A Strange One

Whatever we do, whatever we think about the whole day seems to influence what we dream about. Perhaps you might agree with me on that. Before I proceed I would like to know whether you believe in interpreting a dream.

Well, that day me and few of my friends were talking about how hypocritical this society has become? This discussion had an impact on me and I had a dream which really changed my outlook towards life. I shall describe my dream to the detail possible.

It was a chilly night; the scene was set in a garden in town. I noticed a man in his later 60's strolling down a badly lit pathway and he reclined on a bench which was unattended to for many years. I saw his grin face which had few wrinkles and it appeared to me that the man was thinking about something. Before I could figure out anything more, I noticed a procession moving across the pathway in front of the bench. It was a procession of a dead man. The man on the bench shifted his attention from blades of grass near his feet to the procession moving before him. I saw a twinkle in his eyes and sadness dawned on him suddenly. Perhaps he knew that man and was really close to him. He started to recollect what had happened in the past.

The man who was dead was a pious man, who helped the town in many ways; he was instrumental in putting many innovative ideas into practice. He was the sole earner for his family of 2 brothers and a sister and their children. But after hearing to this I could not digest the fact that his final walk was not attended to by any of his siblings whom he protected and helped. The corpse was moved away by few people, the man on the bench started to move towards the place where the man who died had lived.

There I could see nothing but few people fighting among themselves. It was a quarrel over possession of property which belonged to the man who died. It made me think how selfish are people becoming, how they are putting property and money at a higher value than life. Jealousy, hatred, inferiority / superiority complexes I felt are the feelings which the people have. The man had tears in his eyes thinking about what was happening at that place, he felt bad about how people have become so self centered that they have nothing for others, they care nothing for others. He walked back to the bench thinking about the help rendered by the man who died to others.

He helped many people in time of need, he was passionate about town and helped in making it a better place but he felt no one seems to recognize the contributions of such a man. He became cynical and started questioning himself what had he done in life? What made him do that? These thoughts influenced the man to change his approach towards life. But the very thought made him cry. I could not understand why he was crying. After few minutes he wiped his tears and walked back the way he came and disappeared in the dark.

After few moments of quizzing myself I came to know that he was none other than the man who died and he was analyzing his life. These thoughts disturbed my sleep and I woke up to notice how life seems to move on without recognizing the contributions of many such people.