What is Appropriate?

Who defines what is appropriate? In the present day world, the rich array of attributes portrayed by an individual, as it is the case with everyone, come with the backdrop of a certain temperament bias. We call this bias our psychological "type". The world of human relationships carries a different value proposition to each of us, and the feelings of others may or may not be on the scale of our priorities. Yet all of us are often caught in a conflict between our need for warmth and closeness with others, and our need for privacy, individual space and the freedom to pursue our own interests - which unfortunately often involve abstract concepts quite divorced from human reality.

The interplay between the conscious and unconscious sides of our personality is a constantly shifting dance, changing at different stages of our life and altering according to the pressures and challenges which one encounters. The tension between the primary characters in our inner drama is the source of energy which provides our life with movement, purpose, conflict and growth.

It is important to learn, nothing that occurs within a relationship is chance. Our “type” describes what one is like inside, and therefore what kind of patterns, needs and compulsions one is likely to bring into his/her relationships with others. When we try to project the primitive side of our nature onto the other person in any relation - which means that we unconsciously push him/her into acting out on the aggression and provocativeness, the relationship suffers a strain. There is a necessity to understand what is appropriate? But the larger question is who defines what is appropriate?

An honest and realistic understanding of our fundamental strengths can help us in answering this question. With little effort in this direction, we can nurture, cherish our relationships and spread joy and happiness in all spheres of human interchange. 

Final Dream

Dear Rachel,

I had a dream…a dream about myself few years from now. It was about me writing a letter and delivering it at your grave…

Rachel,

Little, may be insignificant something originated from the brief intersection of our lives some time ago. I remember the day when we met after a long time. You asked me if I was honest in what I said. I answered affirmatively, and you revealed yourself as the same, in a soft voice barely audible over the noise in the surrounding. I remarked on the karmic connection of our present premises…being connected after a long time. You returned with, "Yes, and despite the technology too." 

On the other hand, your affirmation was evidently not genuine, which I could gather little later. I was honest to counsel you from my amateur's seat of clarity. I asked if you truly are where your heart is, because that is where you must be, and stop living on others’ emotions. With your canny demeanor, you replied that you were true about your emotions. My respect for honesty did not seem to impress you with a prospect for your immediate success. Discoveries about your relentless efforts to deceive everyone in your life surprised me. My inevitable decision...my choice to let go followed.

You were like a river singing the same song with the gushing waters, no matter who stops by to enjoy your melody. Alas, you could not realize that a song of love is worthy enough to be true and a continuous one. My thoughts and feelings were never understood, for we had no language in common. 

Now that you are no more, and that I write to you after a long time, I feel awkward, for writing to a person like you, who not only suffered while being alive, but also not regretful enough that you bless your soul to suffer more, for sinful deeds of your existence. 

May your soul rest in peace, or in pieces? 

With dignity,

Albert

To be continued…

P.S.: This blog post presents a first view/glimpse of the chapter titled ‘Final Dream’ of my book (not yet published) titled Precocious Truth: Unrequited Love. You may read the prologue for the same here.

Paradox : Present Day Reality

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. 


We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just let go...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. An embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

-          George Carlin

P.S: This blog post is not a work of mine. I hope this post will be an inspiration. 

A Leap of Faith

"See what you can do when you put your mind to it and take a leap of faith..." Few lines capture our attention...and this little note from a friend of mine did just that. I was asked to treat it as a personal reminder that I have the ability to realize my dreams as long as I am willing to take a leap of faith and to work hard. All too often we dream big, but think small, and this action can stifle our progress of putting our plans into action.     When you think about it, it's pretty easy to dream and to follow our flights of imagination. We can easily allow our thoughts and imagination to fill in the gaps that follow sentences like, "What if . . .?" Such questions can lead us to write down ideas, make plans, draw maps and diagrams and visualize how things could be when we follow our dreams. In some ways, this thinking or imagining phase is the easy part. The more difficult step is actually trying to make things happen.      This active step is more difficult because we may fear failure or fear that others will find us foolish or crazy. Such negative thoughts can bring our dreams to a complete halt. It's sad to think that our own fears can actually keep us from realizing our dreams, especially when those fears are unfounded. I just want to clarify here that I'm not talking about that proceeding forward blindly or foolishly when pursuing our dreams. Putting dreams into action often requires determination, strategy, planning, and hard work.      If you have a dream you want to follow up on, do some thought work before you begin making it happen. Make a list of the pros and cons of going forward with your dream. If solid and clear negatives outweigh the positives, you may not be ready to forge ahead. But if the cons are more connected to fears, then it may be time to take a deep breath and plunge in.      The most important thing is to weigh the possibilities and decide your next step. How often have you had a dream you were hesitant about pursuing? Maybe it's time to make it happen. Listen to your imagination, take a leap of faith, and bring your dreams to life. And if a dream seems too far-fetched, put it aside for the time being and move on to the next one. All the best! Take the leap!

BBR : Bitch(es) Beyond Repair

I've had this post sitting as a draft - work in progress for over a year now. Often when an important media outlet publishes something about being an 'independent woman'...I read it, find it either boring or angering, feel unsatisfied, left out, talked down to, or all of the above. If the story spoke about a particularly narrow minded approach of looking at independent women (by narrow minded, I refer to outlook towards present day realities),  I consciously choose not to think on it, and I put it aside and move on.

These stories felt unrealistic and awful, in many ways they kept my anguish alive, although I couldn't have known at that time the extent to which they were very particular stories told from a particular perspective, presented as a truth long untold. On the contrary, I consider concepts such as feminism and being an 'independent woman' enjoy obnoxious comfort zone in our present day social life. Most of the stories speak of a dubious trend - a collectively guarded bubble of hope...feminism.

Bitch(es) Beyond Repair

The primary point that I wish to discuss in this post: Is the phrase 'independent woman' passé? Unfortunately, unlike many others who wish to follow the acceptable trend to guard the bubble,  I want to discuss about being an 'independent woman'. The picture she (an independent woman) paints of contemporary sexuality and contemporary life feels like the opposite of an acceptable social revelation. Certainly for those of us, who fit neatly into a gender debate, will argue otherwise. 

During my last visit to United States, I remember hearing one woman say,

"...sorry for hurting you and to break your heart, truly this is not me...it is how people made me to be...I seek growth, and to be truthful will mean a compromise..."

An interesting phrase in that conversation,

...to be truthful will mean a compromise...gave me reasons enough to think about the possibility of an emerging trend...independent women, babelicious are a passé...

Ladies and Gentlemen...allow me to present to you...Bitch(es) Beyond Repair...the emerging social trend...when a woman turns into a heavily resource consuming commodity with little or no ethical judgment, immaturity beyond comprehension, attitude beyond control and uses her sexuality, rather than intellect as the tool for career / worldly progression...we have a bitch beyond repair (BBR).

Being Me: Myself

Everyone of us, go through various emotions every day, and have different experiences that we learn from. Sometimes, nothing seems to happen, no matter how hard we try – be it our career plans or personal relationships. And if it continues to be so for a long time, we get frustrated with life and believe that we are unlucky. Unfortunately, during such times we allow several unfortunate events in our life to affect our feelings about ourselves and to dictate our future. Because we believe that we are unlucky and that bad things happen to us on a regular basis, we attract the very things we wanted to avoid.

It is important to realize that each of us have the power to be successful at anything we put our mind to. The Laws of Attraction, will explain how what one focuses on is what one attracts. In actuality, we are very powerful at manifesting things and our "bad luck" is proof of that. The problem is that we keep focusing our energy in the wrong direction.

For those amongst us, who are going through a trend explained above, I wish to propose a little exercise. Allow yourself some time; sit quietly for a moment and look into your heart to find the thing you most desired to do with your life right now. You will have to think about things that might help speed up your path of being what you wish to be. Come up with a list of daily activities to move towards your goal. And finally it is important to realize that gratitude has the power to attract abundance into one's life. It is important that you frame your daily routine as follows:

1. Spend several minutes every morning before getting out of bed imagining your life as someone you wish to be.

2. Then be thankful to the universe that you were good and well-paid at what you want to be, even though it hadn't happened yet.

3. And at some time each day, try to do at least one activity that will move you towards your goal.

It is a six weeks experiment, which you will have to follow and you will come to see how you can make your own magic happen, if you just continue to focus your energy in the right direction. Anyone who chooses to follow the three steps outlined above can create their own magic. So the next time you experience a burning desire in your heart, I suggest you give it a try and watch the magic happen

- Abhijith Jayanthi, 25 May 2011

Formulae : To Unlearn

Rachel,

Friendships and emotional connections have an influential role over our health. In fact, our relationships are apparently even more important to our psychological well-being than our careers. Such relationships for the elderly who remain emotionally active boost their cognitive functions and help them to stay healthier and live longer.

However, we all can enjoy the benefits, but we have to invest time and energy into developing and maintaining them. I know that sometimes this is easier said than done, but it is well worth the effort.

I am going through a transitional thing now. After you called, I decided to get on the plane and get here and get you back. I hate to fly often, but I told myself that there is no way that everything we built will come crashing down just because of someone, who wants to steal my woman. I bought the ticket, got on the plane and somehow made it across the big blue ocean.

Then the most extraordinary thing happened…everything went wrong...I was on the street feeling cold, without a hope in the world and let me tell you, you can do a lot of soul searching in a time like that. I realized I spent most of my adult life trying to protect myself from exactly this situation and you can’t do it.

There is no home safe enough, no country nice enough, there is no relationship secure enough, you are setting yourself up for a even bigger fall and having an incredibly boring time in the process...

Continued....

P.S.: This blog post presents a first view/glimpse of the chapter titled 'Formulae: To Unlearn' of my book (not yet published) titled Precocious Truth: Unrequited Love. You may read the prologue for the same here.