Sunday, August 14, 2011

What is Appropriate?

Who defines what is appropriate? In the present day world, the rich array of attributes portrayed by an individual, as it is the case with everyone, come with the backdrop of a certain temperament bias. We call this bias our psychological "type". The world of human relationships carries a different value proposition to each of us, and the feelings of others may or may not be on the scale of our priorities. Yet all of us are often caught in a conflict between our need for warmth and closeness with others, and our need for privacy, individual space and the freedom to pursue our own interests - which unfortunately often involve abstract concepts quite divorced from human reality.

The interplay between the conscious and unconscious sides of our personality is a constantly shifting dance, changing at different stages of our life and altering according to the pressures and challenges which one encounters. The tension between the primary characters in our inner drama is the source of energy which provides our life with movement, purpose, conflict and growth.

It is important to learn, nothing that occurs within a relationship is chance. Our “type” describes what one is like inside, and therefore what kind of patterns, needs and compulsions one is likely to bring into his/her relationships with others. When we try to project the primitive side of our nature onto the other person in any relation - which means that we unconsciously push him/her into acting out on the aggression and provocativeness, the relationship suffers a strain. There is a necessity to understand what is appropriate? But the larger question is who defines what is appropriate?

An honest and realistic understanding of our fundamental strengths can help us in answering this question. With little effort in this direction, we can nurture, cherish our relationships and spread joy and happiness in all spheres of human interchange.