Saturday, November 01, 2008

Being Vulnerable: Understanding Loneliness

In the past, I have made repeated attempts to understand what loneliness truly speaks of, and whereof it arises from. In this post, I wish to speak about my recent (and allow me to say, “ …the closest I could get to what truly it is” ) attempt in this endeavor. Before I proceed to speak about it, I wish to speak about few interesting, yet incomplete observations of such ambitious excursions in the past, seeking a better understanding of loneliness.

Two successive summers (2006 and 2007), I was in Italy, known as one of the most beautiful countries and home to scenic beauty. During this period, I made my first conscious effort in understanding what loneliness truly meant, and how to see it. I have been on my own before, been to different places before; all by me, but this experience was different, different in a way beyond comprehension. I started to understand how one is bound not only by the element of achievement in life, but also the use of such a feat. It is interesting to understand how emotional strength and emotional dependence go hand in hand. Most of the time, we feel emotional dependence makes us surrender, with emotional strength taking a hit. But, on the contrary, what makes us go the distance (be emotionally strong) is the dependence itself, the sense of attachment, the want to understand people whom we care for better, in an attempt to understand ourselves better.

My recent tryst with loneliness, is an interesting experience, I understood loneliness is felt when we are deserted by our own soul within. It is more to do with how we feel disconnected with our own self, than anything else. When one is not in complete harmony with his/her inner self (being poles apart), it will create a vacuum of confusion, and the need to meet the other end and come to amicable terms is not supported. This leads to further deepening of the divide, pushing us to feel left out, lonely seeking support to connect us with our self within, to establish the missing link…This makes one vulnerable to external influences, which might be good or bad. The decisive ability takes a back seat with the immediate need to establish the connection, which spirals into a bigger problem of losing further control over self.

This post is an attempt to record my understanding of loneliness, which I wish to further explore, to understand the need of the vulnerable. Comments are highly solicited.