My Wish : Be my reason to live or let me die...

'U'...

It is always our constant struggle to understand  ourselves, our emotions and our needs so that we resolve our future aspirations for ourselves. When  I am pressed with solitude, I tend to understand myself better.  Life has offered me many complex situations, forcing me to live by myself ... most of the time by choice and now by force...Likewise, if  U wish to seek solitude and understand yourself better, it is a noble deed. Yet, why is it that this solitude is plunging me into darkness? Understanding is an attempt to bridge the gap, and not to create a divide.

It is my determination to seek a fresh start to our lives, an understanding with which I wish  us  to proceed forward, but it is unfortunate sometimes when I wish to move ahead and seek to see the world afresh, you are not willing to let go...you who matter to me, my future.. you stand as the sole reason for me to smile today, only hope in my otherwise grief struck life. New year's eve as I have come to believe is an occasion to let go and seek life afresh...life full of happiness and trust...Today, I seek a new beginning, a life full of happiness.. filled with U every moment...

Union of 'U' and 'I' in thought and deed is all that I call for ..I  wish to make our lives happy. Union seeks an 'U' and 'I' for its completion. I am waiting here on the same bench...The sensation of life released from fragrance of flowers fail to breathe life into my dying soul. All I need is  'U' , for me to seek fresh air, feel the warmth of the morning breeze... I sit here...waiting for you ... be my reason to live or allow me to die...

Yours passionately,

I...

The Critical Addiction...

What we tend to believe in, is not exactly what we will end up doing. Life is always a complex maze. It is actually little paradoxical that we tend to believe that we understand all our actions. On the contrary, I have come to believe that it is not so. Let us analyze ourselves for a minute, when we try to do a certain something, the one influencing factor in most cases is how to get over with it.

Most of us, if I may say so,  the real cause for the initiation is normally not met, but we reconcile by creating a pseudo target for ourselves. It is our natural tendency to create this needed disturbance in our life, for we are addicted to our objectives, our interest in certain something which will make us re-align our actions.

For all those who seek an understanding of this post, please do not try too hard, the intent is pretty obvious . If you happen to judge the content of the post intellectually, it would lead you down a different lane of thought. Certain things in life are pleasant when you wish to acquire their ownership,when you do not know much about them, the interest is a constant graph, while once you manage to acquire an understanding, it is tough to maintain the same motivation. This again present itself in one of my strong beliefs which I happen to talk about in my post regarding advantages of Saree(an Indian Outfit), how there is a need for a constant challenging emotion for us to realize that the freshness shall never cease to impress us.

Comments are highly solicited...

Persian Odyssey

Its been an interesting experience to understand how it is to live in a country that is different in its approach, its attitude...how it feels to be living in a state of our own, disconnected with the rest of the world. I sit here next to the Azadi Square in Tehran and observe how every minute detail of this city is far from being global. Its been every country's effort to position itself, rather position at least few of its cities on the global 'We Matter!' Map, while Iran seems to be enjoying its solitary existence. Persia, the land that excited many to seek a better understanding of Islam now stands alone.

It is interesting to note that what seems to be a city lacking glamor, has people with great and friendly attitude. Iranians are quite friendly unlike what seems to be the global line for Iranian Policies. My trip to Tehran dated September 2009 will remain one of those most memorable trips of mine, a trip to that land which continues to hold attention on the global front for various reasons. I understand the amount of knowledge and culture that Iran can share and educate the rest of the world with is precious and unique, it is unfortunate that neither Iran nor the rest of the world can accommodate their differences with the other. What we tend to read, is what we tend to believe in and what we believe is will result in what we tend act upon. It is essential to understand the needs of Iran and the demands of the rest of the world to seek a solution to various problems so that Iran, a culturally rich tradition can be integrated with rest of the world and benefit from its rich tradition and knowledge...

- Abhijith Jayanthi ...Tehran 2009

Summoning: The Taste of Grief

'Love those who hate you...'

- Leo Tolstoy

It is sometimes more disturbing to understand that one is in such a state of pity, that he/she has no right to offer judgment, rather is a mere object in this schematic, disturbed by an action, and has no right to react. If God alone was responsible was the creation, he himself is responsible for the action as well, which would invite a logical remark : he himself is responsible for the reaction. It is not a noble deed to react on our own, act on our will, but need to show restraint, and allow god to direct us to react...

Life is an ever learning experience, I always acknowledge this fact. But, did I really live the experience? learn from it? Cheated, am I by my own self ? Is it a reflection of my value education or my principles? Dignity of thought is always a yardstick to judge ourselves, and I have come to believe it is truly so. Dignity of our conscious actions will help us in being true to our values and self. This post is a record for this overwhelming emotion. This world will have to learn to seek value and dignity, there will be a moment in our lives when each one of us wishes to seek forgiveness but it would be uncalled for, more so might not be well received...

Apt are the following words...

"...Love those that hate you, but to love those one hates is impossible. Forgive me for having troubled you. Every one has enough to bear in his own grief! ..."

Is there an appropriate ending to this pressing emotion or this post ? My answer is No...

P.S.: After reading the above post, if you felt it meant something, then I shall be happy that you have seen reason... if you feel it was irrelevant, then probably you are right.

Destiny Test : My Kind

Place: Sagar Kiran

Date: 22-Jul-2009

Firstly, I wish to issue a friendly reminder that this letter has nothing to do with the test that Society of Peregrines uses to help determine who might be destined to vanquish evil. It is more about my experiences aboard Sagar Kiran (For the uninitiated, Sagar Kiran is a Jack-Up Drilling Rig off the Western Coast of India) that I wish to write about in this post. Life seems to be unpleasant to say the least in regard to the turn of events in the recent past, it seems to have lost the charm it had. Destiny seems to have played a spoilt sport in regard to helping my life seek the correct direction. What I wish to speak about in this post, is more about my inability to influence a change. It is rather long, that this phase has been casting its shadow on my life. I wanted to record these thoughts, so that they do the noble work of reminding me that its about time to change.

For my efforts to change... and my determination, let the fate and destiny surrender...

Life..truly yours!

Abhijith

We Vs Me Debate

"...help me to be ME"

Its fascinating to understand that most of us don't seem to understand the meaning of society. It is always necessary to be able to strike the right balance between being one amongst us and being you. This post is related to my tryst with one's efforts to understand self.

It is always easy to point fingers, but it is tough to understand that pointing fingers is more about pointing at self. We drive ourselves to that position when we wish to seek more than what we presumably can take. What one needs, is patience and a firm understanding of one's self. We need to achieve our objectives, met our goals, this is a fast moving world, but when do we realize that everyone has their own pace? One should not fear going forward slowly; one needs to fear only to stand still.

There are many reasons, why this post has seen the light of the day, but there are only few to explain the choices that we make. When we tend to look at life as an abstract art form, we don't believe it truly is abstract for we can make sense of it, everyone has his/her own meaning depending on their sensibilities. Likewise, it is about time that we understand the meaning of our life and existence.

All the Best!

Ornament of the Night

She hesitated, perched at the edge,

that malady called doubt pervading her thoughts.

Would her wings be strong enough?

Her heart said yes, but her mind rebelled

Battling one another in her core.

With herself as the single casualty

She sensed the footsteps approaching

… The palms pushed her from behind

…The ground slid out from beneath

And then the wind became her harness

Too weak to sustain her, she sank…

But her descent met its end

Her wings suddenly broke out of paralysis

Propelling her towards the Heavens

And she rose, higher and higher

So when she turned to thank him

He was no more than a blur in the distance…

Galaxies away,

He smiles at the newly-formed star of the night sky.

Satisfied, he continues along the edge

Seeking out another of doubt’s victims.

(This is not a personal work of mine, and is a true reproduction of the original piece. I wanted to record it today, for I felt the time has come...Her wings finally broke out of paralysis, and the ascent has begun.)

Paradigm: Vicious Monosyllables of Life

Nothing is inevitable in life. I have come to believe, there is an intermediate state between being ignorant and being arrogant in life. It is when we seem to consciously ignore various elements, to have a happy existence that one tends to be sucked into the vicious circle of thought going down the spiral to a state of solitude.

Everyone has got their moments in life, when one feels left out, but what makes such experiences even more unique is the fact that, it is during such moments that we finally get an appointment with logic. I sincerely believe, and strongly advocate that miracles are possible, and are beyond logic. But, when you get to understand the larger picture, miracle is not a singular moment, but it is a collection of events which result in the same, and logic is clearly seen in how these events shape up.

What I wish to conclude from the above discussion, is the fact that one is always sucked into the vicious circle, when one is searching for logic to explain and understand various events. In such cases, it is important that we understand when a singular event fails the logic, it is better that we include various related events in the larger picture and then search for a possible logic. I have experienced an understood ease in analysis when I applied this postulate. I hope it helps the reader as well.

Foolish Destiny...

It will be an interesting meeting between destiny and dignity, if that will ever happen. I have noticed many instances in my life, when in struggle to achieve my destiny, I in a subtle, unknown way compromise on my own dignity. If it may happen, that with dignity, destiny can be attained, then it would be a pleasant anomaly to this reluctantly agreed upon nature's order.

They say, one is furnished with his/her needs, only when he/she asks for it. It is indeed a similar trend in regard to understanding how the universal soul, furnishes us with means to meet our desires, only after we acknowledge the need for the same.

It will be an interesting exercise to solve this paradox, let me take the help of a simple mathematical understanding to arrive at what I want to conclude, lets examine the sides of an Isosceles right angled triangle. (For the uninitiated, Isosceles right angled triangle is a triangle, with one of its angles equal to 90 Degree, and the other two angles both being equal to 45 Degrees, with the total sum of angles adding up to 180 Degrees). In such a triangle, not getting into the details of proving the following statement, it is seen that both the sides opposite to the 45 Degree angles, are of equal length and the side opposite to 90 Degree angle is square root of 2 times the length of the other two sides, this fundamental is a conclusion from Pythagoras Theorem.

Now, drawing an analogy, if we regard destiny and dignity as the two equal sides, signifying the equal importance each hold to any argument, we understand that they come to meet at a right angle, thus ruling out the possibility of influencing one another i.e. if we stand on one of these sides of the triangle and judge if there is any shadow on it due to the other, we would find none. Thus, when these two independent quantities are analyzed for a possible meeting, it is possible only when we stand on the third side, and see these sides both casting a shadow on it.

From the above explained logic, we can sense that the union of these two elements will result in a strength equal to square root of 2 times the value of each of them independently. This speaks of how the only possible option of both of these factors influencing equally any argument (remember, since both the angles are each equal to 45 Degrees, the strength of their influence i.e. length of the shadow on the third side is also equal, hence the influence from both elements is of similar strength in this case) has reduced strength.

It is important that we note this development of dependency, and understand the condition under which it might happen so that we can benefit from it.

तुम...

एक ख्वाब...
एक ख़याल...
एक हकीकत हो तुम...
दोस्ती में पढ़नेवाली हर ज़रूरत हो तुम|

जिससे रोज़ एक बार ही सही...
बात करने को दिल करे...
अरे यार अजीब मुसीबत हो तुम...
प्यार हो तुम|

Life: Something amiss

Location: Pride Hawaii

Date: 23rd March 2009

When land slips from beneath our feet, is it the fear to hold ground? or is it just the casual anxiety of a new beginning that creates the difference in our feet? On my first trip offshore, I had the experience of staying on a jack up platform. With water all around, I wish to call this phase of my life, ' Aquatic Surrender'.

What makes this experience unique is the fact that, even when I was surrounded by people, I felt as if I was deserted on a platform with no way to escape, no route to take. It is a weird feeling to stand on the edge of the platform, and look down into the water...

Seeking beyond the landscape my eyes can capture, I still stand here... all alone, with my own self for company. And all that I understand is...life is all about bridging the thin gap between what you desire and what you get...that is where it begins, and where it ends...

Quixotic Serendipity

Seasons come...
... and go.

Seldom do we realize the...
...taste of our first kiss.

Seek it together, shall we...
...that state of eternal bliss?

Ecstasy: Celebration by a Free Soul

Such is her warmth,
and the hold...
I savored every moment of the long wait,
for her to fold...

Such is her company,
when I go cold...
I stand here with my heart and soul,
sold...

Such is her smile,
beautiful and bold...
Life with her seems,

a honey filled cup of gold...

Sweet Surrender: Within you, I wish to lose myself...

Date: 18th February 2009
Location: Hyderabad

To,
You...

At Dawn today, I stood by the same sea shore, where we first met...waiting for you... to tell me what "we" meant to you. Its been a longtime since we first met, savoring moments from our journey that took us through many beautiful lanes and by-lanes of living. Standing by the sea, I understood how you were similar to the warmth of the sand, holding me firmly to the floor, giving me strength to stretch my arms and feel the warmth of the sun. I wanted to enjoy that feeling forever, but I realized I lost the sand to the water exposing the voids in my feet... I understood how without you, my life will have voids I can't fill.

Is it this feeling that I have no strength to fill the voids, or is it the warmth that you provide to explore the sunshine? Is it the faith that there is nothing beyond you that I need to seek, nothing except you, within whose sphere, I can safely lose myself and yet be a winner ? Is it this feeling which is giving me strength to seek you, and bind you completely...even when all that I know about you is just you...


Within you, I wish to lose myself...forever!

regards,
Me...

Schlum-dog Millionaire

(This post is a result of a recent conversation/realization about what I am trying to do in my life. At this juncture, it is necessary on my part to impress upon the reader that this post speaks of a personal account and might not excite you, if you are looking for a voice on global issues.)

Job life as I have pointed out many times earlier in my previous posts, is rather a different game compared to student/academic life. Recently, I was trying to figure out what are few important driving points for what I am trying to do in my life. As always, movies play a huge role (at least in Indian context, they do!) and I was attracted to comparing myself to the lead character of slumdog millionaire, not that the movie does not have enough parallel analogies already, but it is interesting to notice a striking similarity in titles!

For someone who is interested in earning a decent start, and in the mean time decide what exactly he wants to do in his life : in the process getting into a different mode of working, a more tabular life, and more with the company he is working with, suits the title Schlum-dog millionaire. The title is self explanatory...

Period...

(P.S. :

• Why I wish to leave 3 lines before the end?...Space is an important need when we work in tabular mode.
• Special Mention: Shival Kathe for his contribution in arriving at this title.)

Is Equality Subjective?

This question comes up every now and then. Why is it that we wish to establish equality by means of having double standards when it comes to implementation. It is baffling to notice, use of different methods of judgment and yet speak of achieving equal treatment. This striking contrast is reflected in various aspects of our society : Be it AIIMS incident of preferential care in regard to treatment for Prime Minister Vs Commoner (Why do we focus on highlighting that the victim is from the tribal fraternity, yet another case of artificial attempt to seek equality, we cannot bridge the gap by highlighting the differences), or the anticipation that NCW should never say that there can be mistake on the part of women (Common, women are special beings, they can never be wrong, how can they!) (It is depressing to say the least, that our leaders [read: few ministers] think the best way to support women is to drive them to seek "independence", needless to say, my hopeless prayers to see people realize that, we can never really have "independent women" or "men who are truly independent" and yet maintain a civilized society are not bearing fruit.) are just few examples.

We humans, celebrate differences and take pride in them, and yet seek (read: fight) equal treatment. Another example is the recent storming of Andhra Pradesh Assembly by few "community leaders"/ "well wishers" to demand for special status for their community for they feel they are backward, and are not given fair chance. Why is it that people who wish to seek help, because they feel they have the equal right as any other Indian, still stick to addressing themselves as "being from a certain community"and yet complain when they are addressed in such a way by a "community outsider".

It is rather interesting to see how our politicians fail to notice that the differences are a natural result of our environment and factors which are beyond our control (we can never really attribute the same qualities to both men and women, can we?) . It is not surprising to see why this is a common place event in India, we are lead by a pack of fools, most of them uneducated, not qualified to even seek a clerical position ( justified in their own way, learning the tricks to fool the nation and the best practices of corruption, kept them away from education, in any case who needs education to be hooligans? politics is about making money, why worry about people, right? All we need as a qualification is a possibility that you either have one criminal case against you, or were close to having one recorded with your name on it, or have some super-shot mother picking you to be the next prime ministerial candidate, because all she cares is about having access to public money to live happily forever, why do we have to care about the people?), few those who are educated are dragged into the race of protecting their interests, that the position of few essentials in their bodies have slipped positions. What India needs is a reason to believe, believe that our system can be set right, our system is their to help us live happily.

I wish to see educated men leading us, who will give a sense of direction to our nation, put to rest, fools who seek equality by highlighting differences, who will give all the different "community leaders" and people who instigate the feeling of belonging for a community based on religion, caste or social status other than being Indian, to breathe their last, who can offer a tight slap to all the "activists" who fight unjust causes to engage themselves. I seek those, who have the strength to clean the filth of dynasty politics and hunt for people who support it, and lay them to rest. I hope to see such a day...

MDG # 8: Develop Global Partnership for Development

The MDGs represent a global partnership that has grown from the commitments and targets established at the world summits of the 1990s. Responding to the world's main development challenges and to the calls of civil society, the MDGs promote poverty reduction, education, maternal health, gender equality, and aim at combating child mortality, AIDS and other diseases. Set for the year 2015, the MDGs are an agreed set of goals that can be achieved if all actors work together and do their part. Poor countries have pledged to govern better, and invest in their people through health care and education. Rich countries have pledged to support them, through aid, debt relief, and fairer trade

It is my firm belief that globalization in today’s world has its influence beyond the traditional sectors of business. With free movement of goods/merchandise, it is not merely an exchange/acceptance of goods, but understanding and imbibing a different culture/tradition. It is increasingly necessary to recognize that sharing of knowledge across boundaries will lead to effective methods of development and progress. Young People, who represent our tomorrow, face many challenges and problems particular to them especially problems related to sexual issues and are most vulnerable because of the same. The understanding of social, religious, cultural factors on youth is important in drafting any policy, for youth frame the next generation who will be affected by it.

The problems facing us, challenge not only today’s societies, but future generations as well. It is essential to consider the option of working in partnerships in seeking to address these challenges, for no one can exist in isolation. Indirectly, billions of dollars of current investments are going into crystallizing policies, programs, institutions, and social realities that dramatically affect us today (some highly positive, some not so positive). In most nations, people have little knowledge, and even less say, on how these investments affect their lives daily. It is important to understand that people are the experts on the issues that affect them and as such, are integral to achieving effective and enduring solutions. By empowering ourselves, the needed skills and understanding for global partnerships and other leadership ability, we shall be more prepared to participate fully in society and decision making processes, thus become engaged as one of the partners in shaping the world we will inherit and pass onto future generations.

It will also ensure a better establishment of guideposts in our lives and the social and economic institutions that sustain them, and to facilitate access to leading thinkers and practitioners who are engaged in areas related to community and economic development which the program promises. This will lead to more informed choices by us and hence will create a positive impact on the world through ourselves, our peers and social circles.

(This article is a part of my essay on MDG # 8 : Develop Global Partnership for Development for Voice on MDGs)

Seeking CHANGE!

Sometimes, change becomes a necessity. It is definitely interesting to get used to a situation, certain lifestyle, but it is equally boring to stay the same. When I speak of change, I speak about the necessity for a change in our thinking, in our representation of situation and our outlook towards life. Possibly, solutions vary from situation to situation but what remains key is our will to seek change.

Life is a constant struggle to see a logical link in transition and that when one moves into a different phase, we still are connected to our previous history in a way that impresses us to move ahead and seek further growth rather than pull us down and seek solitude.

There are many examples to speak about this trend, when we seek change, how that influences us to question our present practices, understand the positives - take them forward, understand negatives - discard them, life is a learning experience with events teaching you the art of seeking a better state of existence.

Lets seek CHANGE!

Me and Me...

It is a natural event, that sometimes, we tend to do things exactly the other way, compared to what we wish to. In this process, the conflict within ourselves, presents an interesting dynamic. What we tend to judge others with, will be largely influenced by what we experience ourselves. I wanted to record this observation and the memory of an interesting experience which resulted in the observation.

Period...

2009: An Optimistic Beginning

I wish to record my understanding about the impact of 2008, and the opportunities in 2009. 2008 was a year marked with decent achievements and great tragedies. It was an unfortunate year, to say the least. I wish to see 2009 to be more balanced, and calm if not anything else.

Personally, I wish to give myself more opportunities to seek and influence a positive change, however small. 2008 was a turbulent year, with memorable gains, and losses which I wish to forget. I wish to begin 2009 on a positive note, with the taste of just the positive moments of 2008, and wish to create a positive impact.

As they say, '....from those to whom much is given, much is expected...', I gained a lot in the past, and wish to seek and influence a change my way this year, year 2009!