Circles of Trust....

 

It is always a tough choice to make, when we wish to understand who in our lives can be trusted upon, and whom do we have to be careful about. Today, I wish to present my argument and a method which will be helpful to understand and to space people in our life accordingly. 

My concept of belief and trust is a continuous process of placing people in our lives in a certain circle of trust, depending on our experiences...as and when we encounter them. We have four circles of trust to accommodate everyone we know,  strangers...new acquaintances, new people in our life enjoy membership to this circle of trust, then we have trend based friends...trend here means a particular phase in our life, while at certain workplace, certain school of study... we make friends, who we know better compared to people who are strangers, but we are not completely comfortable with them to enjoy a greater rapport, they come in this range. The next circle of trust is good friends..friends whom we grow with as a person and whom we have come to believe in....and finally, core group.. family and other significant people in our lives occupy this circle.  As I said, no position is permanent, and we always understand and grow as a person...as and when we realize or understand someone in a better way, they will either continue to enjoy the same circle of trust, or move to a different circle depending on whether our learning about them is positive or negative. 

I wish to discuss how people belonging to these circles can be understood, and identified...strangers  represent outside world, they are influenced by competition and our personality.. they always tend to pull us down by being negative in their remarks....as we move into the trend based friends circle... these people tend to be generic support function...people who will have no real benefit or loss, when we win or when we lose..they enjoy the protocol principle of being polite and positive.. they support with a word of encouragement when we are depressed and a congratulatory message when we win.. it means nothing to them.... people in good friends circle tend to be critical in their view, they hold us when we are unrealistic, they tend to guard us against arrogance, they will be negative in their view and try to present the other side of the coin, so that we will be cautious and take the right decision...Finally, people in the core group support you even when you cheat on them, hurt them..they stand by you during your toughest times, even when you hurt them  badly....speak about the brighter side of life...to instill in you faith and confidence... 

On any given day, it is not bad to lose someone from the stranger or the trend based friends circle....probably painful to let go a true friend....but to lose someone who stood by you even when you hurt/treated them  badly ....I shall not consider myself worthy to live anymore, because I believe one can keep his billions only if he is careful about his pennies...I shall rather die... 

P.S.:  I treat everyone with the respect they truly deserve...

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This post is a part of the talk by Abhijith Jayanthi at Ghana in 2009. It has been modified into a commentary to include explanations needed. © Copyrights Reserved.

Jealousy....

Today, I wish to write about my experiences with Jealousy...As Françoise Sagan once said, " To Jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter", it is always important and interesting to understand the delicate  nature  of emotion one needs to deal with, when someone in our life is jealous and we happen to be the object of interest.  It is important for us to decide which side of the argument we wish to support. I wish to focus this attempt of mine to dwell on various aspects of jealousy...possible influences and reasons for sustaining itself.


It is important that we need to understand the difference between the experience and the outcome of a certain situation. It is important that we need to try recreate a moment of confidence...a moment of belief, which will remain in the memory of the subject, and will help her/him to understand how she/he is wanted in our lives. While it is important to instill confidence, it is always important to understand the basis of such a belief. Life is a journey.. a journey where we need to make choices... choices which will influence how we which to decorate our lives...decorations which we wish to live with...It is a pleasant feeling to appreciate the emotion of being cared for, and it is always important to realize the necessity for us to keep the moment alive...with our sincere efforts..

 Jealousy...is a dangerous emotion, if handled well, it will help us grow as a person to seek the beauty beyond doubt...if we do not happen to respect the emotion, it will be painful...possibly beyond human comprehension.


I dedicate this post to a friend of mine...I wish to draw your attention to a realization of mine, which I have to come believe in rather reluctantly, What we are as a person, is what we are...doubt and trust are important facets of any relation...what will be ...will be, it is important for us to understand the value of life and value of ourselves... and others in our life.

Butterfly...

" Children...Today, I shall tell you a story...a story about a butterfly...my butterfly!

When I was a small kid, just like you. I use to be as playful as you all are...mischievous and naughty. I wanted to explore this nature, every beautiful creation and every offering of it. But, I never knew how I can grow closer to nature....until one day, while I was playing in the balcony...a young butterfly rested on my shoulder. She had vibrant wings, a delicate lace and an immersing grace...I was fascinated and amazed to see her, just as you all are to listen to my story...I  extended my arm to reach her....she rested on my finger with  an easy motion...I understood...we were friends now!

I went on to explore the nature through her stories  and her flight...through the trees, through the rivers...into the busy lanes...I lived moments learning the greenery of life, busy ways of people, innocence of a child...until one day, when the butterfly decided to fly away....I was left with no reason to understand....

I continued to explore the world I was introduced to...to live with memories, with hope that she will return. Few years later, as I rested on the green meadow...I was greeted by her again...my butterfly...who rested on my forehead....

My joy knew no bounds, I was happy to see her back in my life...I was excited to think of life I shall live with her as company...we were friends again...I was happy to see myself immersing in life again...reaching out to various gifts of nature...listening to the music of the gentle breeze, the warmth in the rising sun....chill that the winter rain brings....

One day, as we were about to set out ...she was cold with no emotion...she no longer responded my calls to pave the way...neither was she interested to hear my stories...she wanted me to let go...she wanted to fly away...

When I want to explore this nature any more, I will have to do it on my own again...I understood,  I ..me ...myself will have to set my life free, if it  happens to come back...it will be forever...and if it did not, it was never bound to be.

I set her free...with a flutter, her wings flapped...and she rose, higher and higher. My heart palpitated as I stood watching her move away....will I ever be able to see her again? I never know "

The Children continued to stare at me in amazement...one of them raised his hand, but he was silent with his innocent gaze fixed on me. For a minute, he spoke nothing... and then he said, "Will the butterfly come back?"

" I do not know, I have all my life to wait...with hope", I said.

I - Opener

Rubric Note: There are no great debates against the argument which is presented in this post. Hence, it is a sincere request that you should not, therefore, find yourself in passionate disagreement with the post. However, try not to find yourself in passive agreement with it either.

I wish to speak of that phase in my life, when I had a sense of insecurity, along with guilt, pain, stress and lack of love...The foundation that one needs, to understand, grow and condition themselves to take on responsibilities is always crucial. It becomes important to understand that our actions will always have a bearing on our future. I seek to learn from my mistakes, respect life and the lessons I was offered to learn from. My early years were greatly influenced by my father, and I still continue to appreciate and feel  his presence, I understand every experience I am put through is an attempt to help me grow as a person...I lived my early life with a sense of carelessness, and then with a sense of caution...and for few years now, I allowed my heart to guide me...I have had immense happiness to allow myself to immerse into life with completeness and sincerity. I realized that, where there is light, there shall exist a shadow. Shadows tell a tale of light...they speak of absence of light, dark spots caused by impenetrable emotions we choose to hide. In this world of manifestation, there exists a constant struggle between shadow and light. And in my struggle, I lost ...shadow won...Now, I stand emptied seeking light....

 

While most of the people who went/ are going through this phase hustle through their lives to seek a new beginning...but I chose to stay even when I was treated with no respect...to understand, respect the moment... and if possible rekindle hope, but I understood that it is very difficult to rekindle hope if one carries around anger, frustration and disappointment...I learnt to forgive myself, forgive others and set them free...only then I understand I will be more willing and open to accept life and enjoy it. I do not regret my decision to stay...I learnt life...and wait to see light of the day again. 

SimplyJITH: Schmaltz of Life

Visiting my own lane of thought....once again

PrecociousTruth : Unrequited Love

Today, I wish to speak on a topic which is often discussed...and yet there is much left unsaid and for us to learn...Love.

I have always believed emotions are very powerful and it is beyond human capacity to truly describe  them. With this said, I wish to make a humble attempt to speak of love... Love is an emotion....emotion that shall bring value to our existence...emotion, thought of which gives us the strength to seek beyond what is humanly possible.Thoughts that will never seize to bring a smile on our faces...an emotion, essential to grow with, live on and to rest in peace...love...

Today, I wish to tell an untold story...a story that had everything but time, time to allow love to blossom into its full strength...a story, about the perfect love we all seek, the imperfect love we all live with...a story, with emotions that must be kept in cages, forever now...a story, full of hope, but tethered down...a story, dignity and love do not blend well, nor do they continue long together...a story, with fears that are gathered in the darkest corners, unspoken and hidden away forever...

- Abhijith Jayanthi

October 2009

 P.S. : This is the prologue for my book with the same title (not yet published). This work has taken a long time (from being just a draft)....7 Months. Emotions occupy a special space in my heart...so does this post.

You / Me

In the absence of Gentlemen...Ladies,

It is indeed an honor and a privilege to stand before you today. I am asked to talk on 'How non-Islamic youth see Islam and its influence on the present day world ?'  Before I proceed to share with you, the influence of Islam to provide the rationale for individual and social behavioral patterns in the present day world, I wish to draw your attention to an important, and rather unnoticed aspect of our life... the divide between all external factors including society (you) and you as a person, your consciousness (me)....

One of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho, in one of his works said, and I quote; "If all the words were joined together, they wouldn't make sense, or, at the very least, they'd be extremely hard to decipher. The spaces are crucial" It is important that one understands the space between the social setup we have all put together for ourselves and the true and innocent consciousness of our own. In living our lives, we are always through a constant struggle to learn, understand and live by various rules of society. In our attempt to be an acceptable social being, we never really explored the basis for all these so called rules. Sea  happens to be a collection of drops of water, and is nothing if we try to see it without understanding the value of  every individual drop. Similarly, society is a set of people.. a set of individuals like us. When we see society as a collection of such individuals, we start to recognize that all the social patterns are nothing but opinion of various individuals...To understand and respect the power or the consciousness of a society...we need to understand and respect the individuality of every being. 

The belief that each and everyone of us are an essential part and a manifestation of the universal light (Allah - may His name be praised) is seen through the five pillars of  Islam. The first of the five, speak of how Allah - may His name be praised has chosen  Prophet Muhammad to lead others to understand the beauty around them. The second, speaks of recognizing the power of collective worship..to understand that each and everyone of us are a part of the Universal light and respecting everyone's role in the act of worship is recognizing the marvels of Universal Light (Allah - may His name be praised). The act of charity and fasting during the holy month of Ramadan speak of our respect for each other...to understand that each and everyone  of us are here with a purpose and that we all are manifestations of the Universal Light...it becomes important for us to consider and understand the various aspects of life...to truly understand how we are spaced in our lives...and to respect in complete honesty ...dignity and individuality of everything around us. The act of pilgrimage speaks of our acceptance of Universal Light (Allah - may His name be praised) as the sole authority and that this society...a set of individuals who are a part of the Universal Light and that their opinion (rules of society) are all in a way...acts of guiding us by Universal Light (Allah - may His name be praised)

 

Friends, no lamp is lit in order to hide it behind the door....each and everyone here is a manifestation of the divine light ...with a purpose, to reveal the beauty, happiness and joy around. I invite you to explore this thought, understand your purpose and lead others...Let there be light!

Eid Mubarak!

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This post is a part of the talk on the auspicious occasion of Eid by Abhijith Jayanthi at Tehran, Iran in 2009. It has been modified into a commentary to include explanations needed. © Copyrights Reserved.

Nihilism : Self

I have been a firm believer that status quo is not a pleasant option and that dialogue helps us find a solution. In regard to any issue, my primary approach was always to establish dialogue and understand the objectives of both the parties involved. It is important that we initiate a dialogue and arrive at a consensus.

Friends, from my experiences...I have understood, to initiate a dialogue will show a sign of weakness and people do not seem to respect your interest to seek a possible solution, but you might well be subjected to false accusations. and any ensuing dialogue...your attempt to bring out the reality will be seen as an attempt to

explain your reasons for something which is not true in the first place.

It is even tougher when you wish to initiate a dialogue with parties that believe in double standards...different rules for self and others. The dialogue will always leave you with a taste of grief. It is always a tough choice to make..whether to  initiate a dialogue with a possibility that you might lose your respect (be falsely accused or seen as a sign of weakness) or do nothing and live in pain....